Ironic Quote of the Day

Just in time for the Independence Day weekend:

“The arms we have been compelled by our enemies to assume we will, in defiance of every hazard, with unabating firmness and perseverance, employ for the preservation of our liberties being with one mind resolved to die free rather than live slaves.–Thomas Jefferson

My son is at least the 7th generation of my family to live in this country. We have pictures and other documents to prove it. However surprising it may be, I am one of the most patriotic black Americans you’ll ever hope to meet. Deep down, I’ve always wanted to join the military, but everyone I love and respect has told me not to do it–even some vets.

So I love this country, and I can’t just read Thomas Jefferson’s words without remembering that he was a big time slave holder. He, who would rather be dead than a slave, enslaved Africans. Alas, he, like most Enlightment thinkers, didn’t consider blacks to really be human.

If they didn’t see us as people, what does that say about them for sleeping with us?

Admittedly, that was a long time ago, and Jefferson and the rest did a lot of great things, too. But before you pop those fireworks this year or next, remember the words of Frederick Douglass, pal.

Why I (Almost) Never Watch TV

I had to include that adverb in parentheses because I’ll never be one of those “I don’t watch TV” people. How can one not watch television? No Super Bowl? Not one episode of Seinfeld or Wheel of Fortune ever? Never fell asleep in front of a movie on your uncle’s plush leather couch after a holiday dinner? If you answered no to all three of those questions, you live in another culture. You have no business being this deep in the English-speaking blogosphere right now.

So I watch a little here and there, and you probably do the same. As a kid, I would definitely rather be spanked than have television privilieges taken away, not that I had a choice. Now, I find myself unconsciously turning it off. Without realizing it, I just stand up and turn it off. Sometimes, the silence that remains is too deafening, and I turn it right back on. Nasty habit.

But I’ve been watching less and less. One major reason is that the “news” is always bad. Murder, rape, kidnapping, war, economic downturn, pollution, and gridlock, 7 days days a week. They make you sit through all that just to get the weather and one feel good story about a pie-eating contest or a cat that was adopted the day before it was scheduled to be put down.

Another reason is that I can’t stand to watch other people getting rich. Don’t get me wrong, I genuinely wish health, wealth, and happiness on everyone and everything in creation. I just wish it for myself, first. I’m actually so inspired by watching a singer sing or an actor act that is makes me want to be a better preacher/salesman/human. When I sit on the couch watching Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in an edited for tv movie, I’m supporting his talent and hard work without doing anything to develop my own. Essentially, I can either sit there and watch him do him or I can turn it off and go do me. It takes a lot of silence and concentration in order for me to do me well.

I have heard it said that that behind every great fortune, there is a crime. Perhaps the “crime” all of our self-actualized tv role models have committed is capturing our hearts to the point of paralysis. The more you watch Oprah, the less chance you have of ever being like her. I catch her show about 4-5 times a year. That’s just enough for me to be like, “this is a very well produced show. Wonder if I’ll ever be worth 10 figures?”

When you become a die hard fan of someone, you run the risk of believing you are ”less than” that person. You’re different from, but not less than. They found their calling, pursued it relentlessly, and now they are admired for their creativity and inevitable largesse. You can do the same if you want.

I want, and that’s why I personally (try to) live without watching any television.

And don’t get me started on the radio….

On Don Imus

Being black and all, I know I’m supposed to be outraged by Imus’ comments, but I just don’t see it. 

He pointed out that Adam “Pacman” Jones was African-American and had been arrested multiple times since being drafted in 2005.

Those things are true, so where’s the major problem? I mean, did this really need to be one of the top stories on today’s Today show?

Besides, Jones is a public figure and Imus is in the talk radio game. Every talk radio host in 21st century America discusses race and public figures. NPR does it all the time. Plenty of black radio hosts make controversial and disparaging comments about white people every day of the week. I don’t know what they’re saying on those Spanish-speaking morning shows, but I’m sure they spend part of the time making fun of the rest of us.

The I-man and everyone else should pretty much be allowed to say what they want. We say worse in closed company, anyway. You can’t go around calling people nappy-headed hos over the airwaves (unless you’re black). But you can certainly talk about race and society, and if you happen to be a little sarcastic along the way, more people will listen, for better or worse.

Seriously, let me know if I’m a sellout, but I think being outraged and demanding apologies is too easy. I’d rather see a black journalist or leader go on Imus and have a real talk about the joys and sorrows of humanity, black and otherwise.

Find The Cheapest Gas

For readers in the U.S.,

Someone sent me this link that lists gas prices by zip code….

Richard Buckminster Fuller

I saw a documentary last night called “Thinking Out Loud” about this guy Bucky Fuller. He’s best known for making the geodesic dome a reality. He also invented the Dymaxion car. Seriously, go read his wikipedia page if you’ve never heard of him. His thing was doing less with more. Fuller’s inventions and ideas simply obliterated conventional ways of thinking and doing things, which means he met his share of criticism and rejection. Hippies and college students in the 60s adored him, even though he was born in 1895. What got me in the documentary was when one of the many scholars talking about him said,

“If you were just floating through life and you ran into Bucky, you didn’t float the same after that.”

Quote of the Day

“There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we
have contact with the world. We are evaluated and
classified by these four contacts: what we do, how
we look, what we say, and how we say it.”
–Dale Carnegie  

Sounds painfully shallow, but hate it or love it, the man is right on point there.

My First Father’s Day

It was a great day; a few presents and cards, a few phone calls and texts, a pint of my favorite Ben & Jerry’s ice cream at 1100 calories. This time last year, my wife was visibly pregnant, so I got some Father’s Day wishes then. But having a living, breathing child earns you a lot more credibility. Our sitter was the first person to say HFD to me, and it really sunk in: I’m 30 and I’m one of the grown ups now.

I forget that I’m an adult sometimes because I still look to my parents and other elders for advice. Of course I realize I’m an adult–I’m married, I go to work everyday, pay for my own rental cars and dental co-pays…adulthood has been slapping me upside the head for a few years now.

But fatherhood is something else–especially as the kid gets older and actually recognizes me. He really melts my heart. If you know me, you know I’m a nice guy, but my heart is not one to melt. The only time that has ever happened was when Isis and I started dating-I was gone! She’s still my tootsie-pop, but even she can testify to the fact that I can be ice cold for extended periods if I choose. Jay-Z calls it “no passion, no patience.”

But now that I’m a real man, I understand that sort of hardness is not real manhood, and it’s certainly not real fatherhood. I realize that I’m only a father because of my wife and son, so Father’s Day is really a tribute to them. I still expect presents and a certain free reign on the day, of course, but as long as the attention is on me, I’m happy to acknowledge their role as well.

 

Don’t Consider the Source

CAVU-Ceiling And Visibility Unlimited-

It’s an areonautical term that describes the best type of weather for flying. When conditions are CAVU, there’s no limit to what you can see and where you can go, or at least it feels that way to the person flying.

George H. W. Bush, a pilot in WWII, uses this term to describe his own life. He feels like there have been no boundaries in terms of what he has been able to envision and accomplish; no horizons to fence him in.

I find that concept inspiring, yet I have had some trouble adequately sharing it with others. I have tried to say, “I was watching a documentary on Bush Sr., and he was talking about living a life that was CAVU-ceiling and visibility unlimited.” Most of the people I know will totally tune out as soon as they hear the name Bush. Like nothing good could be related to that name.

It’s not just the liberal-leaning democrats who are guilty of this. Try telling a right-winger about the time you heard Al Sharpton point out the historical precedent for today’s terrorists becoming tomorrow’s allies. IThat’s a profound and true, but if you’re decidedly Anti-Sharpton, you’ll probably scoff at the source, if you hear the message at all.

Ever try sharing some of the wisdom of the Buddha with a staunch Christian? Even when Jesus Christ and Buddha’s sayings are parallel, just using the B word around some Christians causes them to shut down.

We have to be careful not to do this in our own lives. When someone is trying to tell you something, glean the wisdom of what they’re talking about, don’t judge the source because you’ll miss the message. Besides, you don’t really know the source, anyway.

Figuring Out “How”

Have you ever wanted something, but since you didn’t know how to make it happen, you just gave up?

I am finding that that once I get clear on “why” I have to accomplish/attain something, the “how” begins to unfold.

I remind myself why a particular thing is essential to me, why it’s important, why its time has come, why I know it’s possible, why doing/getting it will make me feel the happiness I am ultimately seeking.

Once I remind myself of those whys, the how looks a little different. Sometimes, I realize that what I thought I wanted isn’t exactly what I wanted after all.

Once I’m convinced about the way this thing is going to enhance my quality of life and bring me closer to the person I’m meant to be, the “how” magically appears.

The whole plan for that new job or house or emotional healing could be laid out before you, but if you don’t have the confidence and discipline to carry it out, there’s little hope. Again, when you know exactly why you’re doing something, that gives you courage. When it’s a matter of life and death or if your family’s well being is on the line, you tend to be more heroic, which is the way you should be all the time.

Understanding why we want to do something is a good way to become clear on how we’re going to get it done.

 

Monday Morning Message

I remember that we actually design our own lives with our thoughts and actions. We are in total control of our thoughts.

I have enough confidence in myself and Almighty God to realize and accomplish anything.

It is safe for me to be me in this world. There is no reason for me to hold back. I have a lot to offer people from all walks of life.

The people I come in contact with are blessed by the interaction.